New Republican Hate Bill

Senators Trent Lott (R-MS) and Jesse Helms (R-NC) today introduced a bill meant to establish minimum hate standards for "those sexual orientation types".

The bill, if adopted, would establish minimum standards of hate speech for use in various public forums such as schools, election campaigns, cookie drives and Boy Scout camps.

The words "faggot", "homo", "queer" and "gay" would become protected speech which could not be used as the basis for any civil or criminal proceeding.

"This is an important step in protecting our Freedom of Religion" said Helms in an interview with GBC news. "Folks need to be able to express their faith, and calling faggots names is an important part of the Christian tradition in America" the Senator added.

The bill would outlaw any protection of "those people" by police and would also set aside 5 Million dollars of federal money for a newly created Aaron McKinney public service award fund. The awards, to be presented each October on the anniversary of the alleged murder of Matthew Shepard, would go to the person responsible for the most creative new way of combining hatred of gays with Traditional Family Values.

Analysts suggested this move on the part of the Republican Senators was intended to prevent a takeover of the Family Values issue by Reich-Fuhrer Pat Buchanan who recently bolted from the Republican fold.

Commenting on this development, a blond, blue-eyed spokesman for the Reich-Fuhrer said "While we welcome this development on the part of the Senators, it is only a step in the right direction. Where are the camps? And what about outlawing gay marriages in other countries? It is good but it is not enough! Once the Reich-Fuhrer assumes his righteous place as leader of zee free world, we shall see vat happens."