| 1. How many innocent children does a Queer need to recruit in order to get a toaster oven ? | |
| a) | Thirteen, if they all come from Christian families. | b) | Twenty five if some of them are foreigners. | c) | Thirty two if any of them have Liberal parents. | d) | Seventy three if they have gay parents. |
| 2. If two Evangelical Christians have Intelligence Quotients of 94 and 78 respectively, what is their average IQ while attending a prayer revival ? | |
| a) | Sixteen (94 minus 78) | b) | 1.20512 (94 divided by 78) | c) | 0.82978 (78 divided by 94) | d) | Zero |
| 3. Why do TV Evangelists constantly tell lies about and demonize gay people ? | |
| a) | To get money. | b) | To gain political power. | c) | To get more followers. | d) | To feel good about themselves |
| 4. How could the US improve it's policy on gays in the military ? | |
| a) | Allow gays to serve if they tattoo [I Love Jesus very much] on their foreheads. | b) | Ban heterosexuals, asexuals, autosexuals, and bisexuals as well as gays. | c) | Allow gays but ban Christians. | d) | Allow gays to serve with no restrictions. |
| 5. If gays were allowed to marry, how would this affect straight peoples relationships ? | |
| a) | Straight men would never be able to get an erection again. | b) | Straight women would reject their husbands. | c) | Straight men and women would double their budget for fashion clothes. | d) | The moral fabric of America would be destroyed. |