6/14/1996
Anaheim, California
World Headquarters
Disney Corporation
Press Release
Disney spokesperson and animated feature character "Goofy"
issued the following press release today:
"Hee hee, those silly Southern Baptists. Hee hee.
They need somebody to be HOLIER THAN. Hee hee. So they
decided they were HOLIER THAN everybody here at Disney.
Why ? Not because we love them, hee hee. Nope. Just
because we don't hate Queers. Hee hee."
"They heard about how we let gay and lesbian employees
add their life partners to our health benefits program.
Hee hee. It made them get all flustered and puffed up
about how Holy they are. Hee hee. Those Southern Baptists!
They must be very Holy because they obviously have NO
TOLERANCE for gay people. Hee hee."
"I bet they were studying that part in their Christian Bible
that says `Since you are so much holier than everybody else
is, throw the first stone' Hee hee."
"Oh, and the other part too. Hee hee. Seems like they
heard that we have a special day, just one day a year, in
the OFF SEASON, when we have a Gay and Lesbian day. Hee hee.
We actually let known, practicing Homosexuals inside
Disneyland, hee hee. They have to pay though, just like the
Southern Baptists do. Hee hee."
"They really flipped their Godlike Gourds when they heard
about that. The Southern Baptists were having this BIG
CONVENTION in New Orleans. I guess they picked New Orleans
because it is such a Holy City, hee hee. So, when the people
at this convention in Holy New Orleans, (where the hets flaunt
it every year at Mardi Gras), heard we let Gays and Lesbians
inside Disneyland they felt MUCH HOLIER, hee hee."
"If the Southern Baptists were running Disneyland I bet
people would have to take a Sexual Purity Test just to get in,
hee hee."
"Those Southern Baptists were talking about FAMILY VALUES,
hee hee. Seems like they think only heterosexual Christian
right wing narrow minded bigots have families, hee hee. I
bet they think THEY should define who is and is not a person
with Family Values, hee hee. I figure if somebody lives with
someone they love, and they provide for that person's care -
that's a Family with Values, hee hee."
"I guess, if you are holier than other people, your Family
Values are holier too. Somebody told me that gay people
call other gay people `FAMILY', hee hee."
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