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I have a confession to make. I have been known to shop at
K-Mart from time to time. Not for the latest fall fashions of
course, but for everyday basic items like shampoo, neon colored socks
or loofa sponge brushes. Go ahead, call me a het if it will make
you feel any better. I know I'm Queer, and if you're cute I can
prove it too!
Anyway, there was this one time, not long after I moved to California, when I went shopping at K-Mart and had a very unique experience. Of course, since I am the confrontational militant sort that I am, I had a gay T-shirt on. It was the one that says "Queer Sysop". It was a true statement at the time. I had a BBS. I'm still Queer but the BBS has been retired for the time being. They had a sale on Joe Boxer underwear. Imagine wearing a shirt that proclaims in vivid colors that you are a poofter (as the British say) and shopping in the mens underwear department of a store that is positively predominantly heterosexual. I found a pair of boxer shorts that had all sorts of fruit on it, in very bright colors, on a yellow background. "Fruits for a fruit" I thought to myself, and I chuckled a bit half under my breath. I guess it was an unusual thing to do. Some guy, who looked like he had been a football player in high school before he blimped out on pizzas and Bud, gave me a very hostile stare. I gave him smile number seven, the message of which is "I am just crazy enough to do anything at all, so don't mess with me." It worked. For a split second I had considered using number twelve; "Hi sexy, want to fool around?" but since he had about a hundred pounds on me I discarded that idea real quickly. The blimp gave me an even more hostile stare and then sauntered away like they always do, testing the strength of the concrete floor as he walked. I continued to check out the underwear. I felt a stirring in my crotch. You see, I find men's underwear sort of stimulating, sexy if you will. I guess if I were heterosexual I might have to feel embarrassed about that, but being myself it's OK. I always just pass by the plain white cotton briefs though, yuch, no style at all, no fashion statement. You see, I AM Queer! I can say fashion statement. Then I saw a salesclerk putting T-shirts on a rack about ten feet away. I saw well defined shoulders, thin arms, and the back of a head that was covered with fine black hair. Oh My! I suddenly remembered I needed some T-shirts too! I sort of drifted in that direction, pretending for a second to care about Hanes white boredoms. Slowly I inched my way in his direction, hoping he had a lot of T-shirts to put on the display. When was the last time that you went cruising at the K-Mart ? I got my first glimpse of his face as I rounded the endcap where all of the white tank tops were. Oh my goodness, a 9.7! Oh yes indeed. I started looking at bright orange pocket T-shirts for $7.99, when much to my surprise he spoke to me.
"Can I help you find anything today sir ?"
Wait, I'm at K-Mart! Salespeople at K-Mart do not offer to
help anyone, ever. In fact they usually deny working there if you
approach them. I turned to face him:
"You wouldn't happen to have any pink shirts with a V neck
would you ?"
"No sir I'm sorry ? What's a Sysop if you don't mind my
asking ?"
"Oh, that's short for System Operator, it means a person who
runs an electronic Bulletin Board System. I take it you
know what the other word means ?"
He smiled! He almost laughed. I was starting to have
actual fun here.
"Yes sir, I do. Sometimes I wonder if I'm, you know, whether
I might be."
I was flabbergasted. Here I was, out to shock Mr and Mrs
Family Values in a public place, and this kid had just blown me
away. It was an amazing experience. I looked at him again. About
5'7" tall, maybe 135 pounds, a very cute baby face, he looked like
he must have needed a letter from his parents just to get a job. I
wondered just what this kids intentions were. I felt sure he was
not baiting me, he seemed so sincere.
"You mean you are attracted to other guys ?"
"Um, yes, I guess so, but I think I like girls too."
"Well look, I'm not going to yell at you, you just go ahead
and be yourself and don't let anybody give you a bad time
about it. Right ?"
"Yes, thank you."
"How old are you"
"Nineteen, well, I'm almost twenty now. So you have a
BBS huh ?"
"Yes I do, it's a gay BBS, right here in Sunnyvale"
"Do you think I could call it sometime ? Does it cost a
lot for access ? I mean, do you charge people ?"
"No, no, it's free..."
So I gave him the details and he actually wrote down the
number. I almost felt giddy, this is not a common occurrence. I
ended up buying the yellow fruit boxer shorts and went to an Indian
Restaurant in the same little plaza for dinner. It was about 9PM
when I was leaving. As I walked back to my van in front of the K-Mart
I saw the kid coming out of the store, he seemed to be done for the
day. Then he saw me. He started walking towards me, briskly. It was
dark outside, early spring, we were still on standard time, but under
the bright halogen lights it was easy to see the whole parking lot. I
stopped and waited to see where he was going. He walked right up to
me.
"Excuse me sir..."
"Hi, call me Steve please."
"Hi, Steve, are you in a hurry or anything ?"
"No, not really, I gather you just got done work."
"Actually I was done about a half hour ago, you probably
didn't notice but I saw you driving into the lot earlier.
I was collecting shopping carts outside here at the time.
I saw the bumper stickers on your van. Then I saw you
and I wanted to meet you. I was sort of following you in
the store. I don't usually work in men's clothing."
I was completely at a loss for words. I just kept staring
at this kid. This gorgeous hunk of still-a-boy, HE was following
ME ? I looked around the lot really quick, wondering if I was on
Queer Candid Camera or something. The kid was actually cruising me.
Finally I found my voice.
"You're kidding me, right ?"
"No sir, I mean Steve, my name is Jeff by the way, and
if I'm bothering you just tell me and I'll leave you alone.
Do you have a boyfriend sir, I mean Steve ?"
"Umm, no, not at the moment, no, I don't. How can I help
you Jeff ? What do you want from me."
"Well, um, to tell you the truth, I'm attracted to older
men. And, um, you know, I was wondering if, I hope I'm not
bothering you, I was wondering if you thought, you know, if
you thought I was cute or anything."
He blushed! I might have blushed too. It was an out of
reality experience, one of those moments when you wonder if your
whole life is just a dream. But I could feel a small pebble inside
my left sneaker under my arch. And the traffic on El Camino Real
was making noises, a breeze was blowing very lightly, and Jeff's
hair was moving very slightly in that breeze. I took a deep breath
and it felt good. He had black khaki pants on, they were pleated
below the waist, and baggy too. His shirt was black with an orange
design that seemed to resemble pink triangles. He had black hi-tops
on too. This was just too much to believe all at once.
"Jeff, how about if we sit in my van a few minutes and talk?"
"Yes, I'd like that, thank you Steve."
So he got inside. I turned the key to accessory and turned
on the tape deck. Jean Michel Jarre "Revolutions" really low, just
for background. He put his hand on my knee. I got an erection.
"Not here Jeff!"
"How about if we drive around back, OK ?"
"You mean, behind the store ?"
"Yes, let me show you a place."
So I fired up the Warp Drives in my Federation Shuttlecraft,
which is cleverly disguised as a Chevy Lumina APV van, and we drove
around behind the store. There were two rundown looking old
trailers there that looked like they were used for storage.
"All the other guys bring their girlfriends back here.
If you pull in between these two trailers nobody will be
able to see us."
"Oh My, and what would they not be able to see us doing ?"
"You know!"
"I know a couple of things Jeff. What do you have in mind ?"
As I said this I did indeed pull in where he had shown me.
It was a tight squeeze. Neither one of us could have opened a door,
even if we had wanted to. I had a full blown erection by this point.
"I want to blow you Steve."
"Oh My, that does sound nice, and then what ?"
"Then you can do whatever you want with me."
"Look Jeff, I just came down here to buy some underwear
and have dinner."
"Steve, I saw that underwear you bought. Do you always wear
boxer shorts ?"
"No, usually just when I'm working."
"Are you wearing some now ?"
"Um, Jeff, look, you seem like a really nice kid, you know.
And I don't want to, um, to do anything you might regret."
"I'm not going to regret anything Steve. Do you have boxer
shorts on under your jeans right now ?"
"Yes, I do, blue ones, blue flannel as a matter of fact."
"Good, I love boxer shorts. My Dad wears them you know."
"Um, no, I mean, I don't know your Dad, as a matter of fact,
could we leave your Dad out of this please Jeff ?"
"What's wrong Steve, are you getting nervous ? I want to
see your blue flannel boxer shorts. May I see them please ?"
"Umm, Jeff..."
"Steve, I said I want to see your blue flannel boxer shorts.
May I please ?"
"Umm, look Jeff..."
Suddenly he reached over to my side of the Shuttlecraft and
in a very swift motion he took the keys out of the ignition. That
was when I knew I was really in trouble. This kid was not going to
take no for an answer. I could not imagine why I felt like saying
no to him.
"Steve, I want you to pull your jeans down now. Right now
please. I'll give you back your keys later, when I'm done
with you."
This was not Queer Candid Camera at all, it was the horny
cutie from Maple Street. I was in his power. I had no control over
the situation. Quite honestly, the kid had me scared. There was
nothing I could think of to do about it.
"Steve, pull your jeans down NOW, but leave your boxer
shorts on."
So, I unbuckled my belt. As I did so I looked over at him
and there was a gleam in his eye, it was unnatural, driven, I
shuddered and felt suddenly cold. I unsnapped my jeans and a little
saliva ran out of the corner of his mouth. It rolled down toward
his chin. I lost my erection. I unbuckled my pants.
"Let's go Steve, I haven't got all night!"
I was scared now. My hands trembled a little as I pulled
down my zipper. His eyes were even more glazed now. The drool was
dripping from his chin. I wondered if it would stain the upholstery.
I also wondered if I would ever get a chance to wear my new underwear.
"Pull them down, NOW!"
I lifted my butt up off the seat and I pulled my pants down
below my knees. My erection came back.
"That's better. Much better Steve, you see, if you
co-operate with me everything is going to be just fine,
isn't it ? Isn't it Steve ?"
"Yes, I guess so."
"You GUESS so ? You better believe it !"
He got up off the seat. He pushed the cup tray in to make
more room on the floor. He knelt down between the two front seats.
He raised the armrest on the side of my seat. Then he put his face
on top of my underwear, the blue flannel boxer shorts. He kissed it
through my underwear. He put his hand on the inside of my thigh, it
went up inside, inside the blue flannel boxer shorts. I felt wet
down there.
"Oh Steve, you have a nice one."
"Thank you, thank you very nice, I mean much."
"You see, I can be nice, can't I Steve ? I can be
very nice."
"Yes Jeff, you're a very nice young man, very nice."
"Thank you Steve, now I'm going to do what I want to do.
Is that OK ? Is it OK with you Steve ?"
"Yes Jeff, you can do anything, anything at all."
It did not sound like my voice saying that. It just sort of
came out of me. But I felt my chest moving and my vocal cords too,
so I knew I had said it out loud. He started rubbing his nose over
my underwear.
"Nice smell Steve, nice. Are you circumcised ?"
"Um, no, I mean yes, yes, I am circumcised. I am."
"You're not sure Steve ?"
"Oh, I'm very sure, I just, I guess I got confused for a
second."
"Steve, do you mind if I bite it a little ?"
"Oh Jesus, Jeff, please don't hurt me, no, please. I don't
like that Jeff. It hurts me, please don't bite it. Please."
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