The Closet Door

Since I only just moved to California in February this was to be my first opportunity to attend the Gay and Lesbian Pride celebration in San Francisco. I was really looking forward to it. Now I'm looking forward to next year even more. It was fantastic!

Donald had agreed to allow me to ride up to The City with him on Sunday for the parade. We were both signed up to march in the High Tech Gays contingent. Donald and another HTG member had made the Closet Door last year. I sometimes refer to Donald as boyfriend number two, only because I met Bacon first. But enough about boyfriends, I'm writing about the Closet Door here.

Donald picked me up at 9AM and we headed up to The City. I made sure to bring my green flowered boxer shorts because boyfriend number one had suggested I wear them as a hat for the parade, we had a real good laugh about this at the time and it sounded like fun to me.

Donald and I got there early which gave us time to scout out a good parking place and get some coffee too. Soon enough we had the door setup, I guess I should describe it. It was made out of plastic plumbing materials for the frame and what seemed like a solid sheet of dense styrofoam was suspended by this frame in such a way as to make a door that one could push open and walk through. The door was Gayly decorated and very pleasant to look at.

The important thing of course was the motion. Users were only to be permitted to pass through the door in one direction. You see, on one side of the door the potential user was "In the Closet" and by passing through the door the user was able to "Come Out" of the closet. It might sound stupid to you reading it here on your computer screen but if you had seen how much fun people had with it you would understand.

Of course there was the usual standing around in line waiting for the parade to begin but we made good use of the time. We enticed members of the Levi Strauss contingent behind us to come up and use the door and they loved it too. Other groups from Hi Tech employers had members there and they were joining the HTG contingent. Many of those folks were through the door before the parade began.

Part of our team would stand behind the door with a ready supply of stickers that said "Out of The Closet" and as each person came through the door someone would press one of these stickers onto them. Folks were dressed as one might expect for a Gay/Lesbian event so some of these stickers ended up on bare flesh. Some of that flesh was awfully nice to be putting stickers on too!

Jeff had brought the bullhorn, an amplified model like you see the police use on TV. During the day several of us took turns working the bullhorn but it was mostly Jeff and I. Once our group started moving towards Market Street and the crowd of hundreds of thousands we pretty much had our line of patter and our technique well developed. As each person would come up to the door, if they hesitated at all we all began to shout "Out. Out. Out" in unison, and once they had finally screwed up their courage enough to take that bold step out into the light of personal freedom we would scream "Yeah" while one of the sticker crew did the ceremonial sticker placement. There were quite a few hugs and kisses going on with folks who had just come through that door. For many of the people we came across that day it really seemed to me to be a very significant event. This only added to my own joy of course.

Finally we got to the corner of Spear and Market and we were about to turn onto Market Street and join the official parade route. We had to pause a moment to let another group that had been staged in some other area pass before us. On the way up Spear Street I happened to have the bullhorn and had been yelling out "Are there any gay employees from Hewlett Packard here today... Are there any gay employees from Sun Microsystems here today..." and so forth. These folks were all marching with the HTG group and we were just having fun getting ourselves psyched up for the parade. As we waited to turn left onto Market Street a truck went by loaded with gays and lesbians from Pacific Gas and Electric. Having the bullhorn in my hand I yelled "Are there any gays from Pacific Gas and Electric here today ?" They loved it!! Although I was having a fantastic time already, little did I know that the best was yet to come.

Market Street at last! The pride and joy was surging through me like heroin through an addicts veins. My brothers and sisters were all gathered here today to celebrate our pride in who and what we are. And here I was, an ordinary soul, strutting my gayness and my green flowered boxer shorts for all to see. It was so intense.

Most of the High Tech Gays contingent were busy carrying our banner and many placards announcing the companies we represented, but there were a few of us that, through no official process, had gravitated to running the Closet Door. Two or three guys would carry the door while another two or three kept peeling stickers and slapping them on to the happy and liberated folks who had passed through the door.

We soon hit on a strategy of carrying the door until we could set it down in front of one of the groups of people that, all along the parade route, had braved to cross the police barricades and sit on Market Street itself. We would plop the door down in front of them and whoever happened to have the bullhorn at the moment would explain to the crowd.... "Hi, we're the High Tech Gays from San Jose and we've brought our Closet Door with us so we can show you just how easy it is to Come Out of The Closet". Then one of us would go up to a likely looking candidate, offer a smile and a hand, and try to get them to participate by going through the door. At those times that Jeff was working the bullhorn I had a marvelous time going up to this or that lesbian or gay person and with my best smile literally pulling them to their feet and leading them to the door. It was amazing how many people offered no resistance at all. A carnival atmosphere to be sure.

But still, the best was yet to come.

Of course you and I both know that Coming Out is not at all always an easy thing. The intention here was to make light of something that too many people fear and by doing so, maybe, just maybe, lighten the burden for one of our brothers and sisters. I'll probably never know if it worked or not, but gosh it was fun trying. I mean a whole lot of fun.

So we were going along just fine, we had our whole routine pretty much worked out. The crowd was obviously loving it and we were all having a great time. It just so happened that the bullhorn was in my hands when we happened to come across two San Francisco police officers who were standing inside the barricades possibly enjoying the parade as much as keeping the peace. There was of course very little work for them to do. The homophobes had all booked hotel rooms in Sacramento for the weekend. It was a very peaceful and joyous crowd, brothers and sisters. I don't know where it came from but for a minute I was inspired. Through the bullhorn, loudly, publicly, I urged one of the cops to go through the door. Thousands of people must have heard me. The cop knew it as well as I did. He smiled. It was not the smile of a phony or unpleasant person. This cop was ready to laugh. He thought the guys with the Closet Door were funny. He didn't care who saw him smile. This was, after all, San Francisco. I decided to push my luck.

It really did not take a whole lot of coaxing. I can't remember exactly what I said. There was some other force involved. I was just the instrument of that force, but I had given my services willingly. The cop went through the door and the crowd went wild. I remember yelling through the bullhorn "Alright... the San Francisco Police Department is Out of the Closet."

By the time we reached the end of the parade route we had persuaded three SF police officers to go through the door. Each time the crowd roared with their excitement. What could possibly be more fun ? And all in a worthy cause. Everyone there, in the parade, along the streets and with us only in spirit from far away - all of us had the same message that day. It's OK for me to be who I am, I am a good person and I am proud of myself.

I hope you are proud of yourself too, and I hope to see you next year at the parade. The door will not be there. Donald and I took it apart and threw it in a dumpster. It had served it's purpose.